A friend of mine recently asked me to help her win a boudoir photo session with a very bizarre request: She had to come up with a scene or scenario where wearing a sloth costume was sexy. I’ve got to tell you, I blinked, slowly a couple times at that one. How to make a sloth costume…*blink*…sexy…*blink*…
Not sure if she won, but here’s what I came up with. Rough and unedited so look beyond that, and think “Sexy Sloth”
by Paige Burns
“You want me to do what?” I looked at the photographer incredulously then looked at the Sloth costume she’d handed me.
“To put it on.”
“Look.” I set the costume on the table next to the make-up station. “I’ve heard you’re eccentric, but there was nothing about wearing a costume in the advertisement.” I grabbed my phone and pulled up my Groupon app. “See,” I said pointing to my phone. “Fifty dollars for one Boudoir session.” I put my phone back in my purse. “So, if this isn’t what I paid for, I want my money back now and I may not report you.”
The photographer stood silent for a second, a small smirk on her face. She glanced at her watch then at me. “Look, Anna, I’m not messing with you, honestly. I—”
“I’ve seen your work,” I said to her as I started to gather my things. “You’re good, very good, but I bought this session for an anniversary present for my husband.”
She started to say something but I cut her off.
“Nope, not a word. I don’t want to hear another word from you.” I turned to head toward the hotel room door but the lights when out, leaving us in the dark. “What the—?”
The spotlight kicked on, illuminating the red chase lounge against the white backdrop the photographer had set up in the suite while I was getting my make-up and hair done. She came over to me, slowly, as if I’d bolt.
“Listen, please, just trust me.” She handed me the Sloth costume again. “Put it on, we’ll take a few pictures and we’ll do the Boudoir shots after.”
I took the costume from her.
“We’ll make sure this is a session you and your husband will never forget.”
I let her lead me back to the make-up area where I set my things down. If she was going to take the pictures I paid for, what were a few done in a crazy sloth costume. “This better not smell.”
“Anna. Let’s do the shots in the spotlight.” She pointed over the still illuminated chase. “I’ll take some shots of you undressing as you get in the costume. We’ll take a few in the costume and we’ll go from there. I’ll turn on some music to set the mood.” She walked over to her camera set up in the middle of the studio and started to make adjustments.
I sighed. “Fine, but these better be good shots or I will report you.”
I walked over to the set, still feeling a little unsettled about the whole costume thing. Maybe she was into furries or something, why did she have to involve me in her fetishes?
“Let me know when you’re ready.” I called. Music suddenly filled the air. A slow, sultry tune that made me want to dance and sway.
“Okay,” the photographer said, drawing my attention away from the pull of the music. “Just go with it, feel the music. Take your clothes off slowly. Imagine you’re doing this for your husband. What’s his name?”
“Seth.” I closed my eyes, imagining him watching me. His blue eyes burning me with his gaze. “His name is Seth.”
“Good,” she said. “Good, show Seth your love. Show him your body. Be slow, slow as the sloth, and show him how much and how long you will love him.”
Boy, this lady was good. Weird costume fetish or not, the music moved through me and I could see—could feel Seth in the room with me. I kept my eyes closed and with slow, deliberate movements began to unbutton my blouse. I’ll show him. I’ll show Seth how much love I have for him. Sixteen years of marriage, twenty years together and my love for him was still fresh.
The last button undone I started to pull off my blouse.
“Slower.” A whisper in my ear.
I stilled, that was not the photographer’s voice. I snapped my eyes open but couldn’t see, the spotlight blinding me to anything but the light. “What…did you say something?” I tried to peer through the brightness.
“No, nothing, you’re doing great.” She called from the darkness.
The music got louder.
“Keep it up, you’re looking great. The shots are wonderful, keep your eyes closed, think of Seth.” The snick of the camera taking pictures could still be heard under the sound of the music. “Do this for Seth.”
Right, Seth. My imagination was taking over. I needed to quit watching the SyFy channel. There was no one else here but the photographer and me.
“Okay, I can do this.” I closed my eyes and let the music take me again. Slowly, I let my blouse fall, leaving me in my black lace bra and jeans. I’d done this once before for Seth, on our honeymoon. I looked better then though. Thinner, boobs not saggy from birthing our children, my hair was longer then. But no matter how I changed, Seth still wanted me. Our passion for each other growing deeper over the years as we learned each others bodies, our sexual likes and dislikes.
I moved with the music, remembering that night long ago. I smiled, remembering the shock on Seth’s face as I’d teased him. I did so again now, hoping he’d see the similarities in the photos now to that night.
I raised my hand and stroked a line from my lips to the swell of my breast, teasing along the line of lace up to the bra strap. I gave it a gentle tug and it fell. Ah, but I didn’t want to show too much too soon, right Seth.
‘Slower,’ he’d said ‘slower. Like a sloth.’
I brought up my other hand and with both, caressed down, over my breasts, down to my jeans. Achingly slow, I undid my top button and unzipped my jeans. I shimmied out of my jeans and stepped out. Now, standing in my lace bra and panties.
The music swelled.
The camera clicked.
I swayed, touching my skin, igniting my passion, my longing for my husband. I whispered his name. “Seth”
I reached back to unhook my bra but someone gripped my wrists, stopping me.
“What the?” I turned, panic setting my heartbeat into overdrive.
He stood there, holding me close. His eyes burning with the same passion I’d felt as I’d stripped for him then, for him now. “How did you–?”
“Shhhh.” He put his finger to my lips. He looked passed me. “Thank you, you may go now.”
I moved to turn but he held me. “It’s just us now.” He reached out and touched my naked shoulder. “Show me again Anne, show me our love.”
I punched him in the shoulder, not hard but enough to get a grunt from him. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, but when I saw that you’d bought this session I…” He had the gall to look sheepish. “Well, I took the chance to surprise you and show you how much I love you.”
He kissed me, the passion flaring up inside me again, burning me to my core.
He released me and stepped back, sitting on the chase. “Please, Anna, finish for me.”
I chuckled and pointed to the sloth costume. “Ok, but I’m not putting that on.”
He smiled. “You won’t be in any clothes for a while, my love.”
And so I showed him, each movement slow…like a sloth.
Hope you enjoyed! The things I do for my friends…
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.